


I swear you're mine (in this light)

by curryroux



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, SixTONES (Band)
Genre: I Don't Even Know, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, confused hokuto, what is happening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-22 18:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30042765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curryroux/pseuds/curryroux
Summary: Crushes can be complicated. And confusing. Like the other things in this world, Hokuto concluded. And that was how his midnight overthinking session ended. Sleepiness starts to kick in his senses as he drags his blanket all over him.That’s when his phone decided to vibrate.
Relationships: Kyomoto Taiga/Matsumura Hokuto
Kudos: 11





	I swear you're mine (in this light)

**Author's Note:**

> heavily inspired by midnight love - girl in red, and I can't sleep so I finished this yeeet

The world was so confusing.

In everything. Nature. Relationships. Feelings. Emotions. Everything. Hokuto can’t help but wonder was love confusing? Like all the things in this world. It made his head spin, his heart beats faster, and his pulse quickens. The way the boy he adored glanced at him this morning. Or how he plays love songs with the guitar. Or when the sun hits him at such angles that Hokuto’s breath was taken away. Was that love? Or was it something else?

Even the ceiling he’s staring at is starting to glare at him for being a fool. Because if it’s love, why does Hokuto hurt? Why does his heart clench and crush at the mere sight of the boy he adored decided to put him in second place. His second favorite. It makes his eyes pooled with tears and hands trembling. 

However. 

The blush on the boy’s cheeks when he lends his jacket. Or when he held his hands, and the squeeze on his heart synchronizing with the grip on his hand. Or when he met eyes with him in the crowds and it suddenly felt like the whole universe is theirs to explore. Addicting. His most favorite feeling in the world. The thing that made his life worth living. 

Crushes can be complicated. And confusing. Like the other things in this world, Hokuto concluded. And that was how his midnight overthinking session ended. Sleepiness starts to kick in his senses as he drags his blanket all over him.

That’s when his phone decided to vibrate.

Hokuto wanted to ignore it. Let it vibrate and he will call back in the morning if he’s in a good mood. Because whoever called him at this hour must be insane in their senses. And who might be that lunatic to have such an idea if it’s not Taiga?

And he tried to ignore it. Whined for his sleepiness to come back and rustled in his blankets for warmth and comfort. You know what, screw it. If he’s not going to get sleep tonight because of a certain someone, he will make the most of it. Life’s only once and he’s going to make the best out of his love life. 

So he picked up his phone, ready to make room and time for the one on the other line to rant and talk the whole night. Even if it’s about his love. Even if it made Hokuto’s heart bent and break.

“Hello?”

Silence. 

“Taiga? Why aren’t you asleep-” A sniff. A hiccup and snorting nose.

 _“Hokuto,”_ His voice shook. Sounded bitter and painful.

Panic started to jack-hammer in Hokuto’s chest, “Taiga? What happened? Are you-”

_“I’m sorry,”_

Another silence. Hokuto doesn’t know what to say. Was this an apology for calling him in the middle of the night? Or for borrowing his jacket and not returning it yet? Or was it the thing he’s been thinking all night-

 _“But can you-?”_ A sigh and sniff.

Oh. Oh.

“Okay. I’ll be there soon, don’t move,”

Silence before a rustling sound starts to sound from the other, a nod perhaps. _“Yea,”_

Hokuto turned off the call and sighed. It was not an apology for disturbing him or whatsoever. It was an apology for wanting to be loved. For wanting affection at midnight. But he couldn’t say no.

Which is confusing. He sighs for the nth time as he puts on his shoes and tries to push away his thoughts. 

-

  
able to look you right in the eyes,  
say I'm not your consolation prize  


-

All the doubt from his body washed away as he looked at the figure under the street lamp. Fidgeting with the sleeves of his jacket, wiping his face for the fifth time from the moment he saw him. Hokuto stopped in his tracks, waiting for the other to notice his presence. 

And when the figure opened his hoodie and looked into his eyes, Hokuto can feel butterflies flowing in his torso with ease.

Taiga’s big round eyes were glossy from tears, still looking beautiful despite being anguished in misery. A shade of red glued onto his cheeks like powdered sugar on a donut, only a slight touch but the way the street light reflects on it impacted so, so much to Hokuto’s little heart. His blond strands made him look like a stranded fairy, supposed to be in fairytales and too pretty to be true. 

But here he was. Standing unsteady with real feelings and emotions. Real laughter and tears.

Hokuto didn’t know that his heart could be even more broken than it already was, but the moment Taiga ran to him with a tear falling from his left eye, it flutters into pieces and left into dust. Leaving marks of rage and bitterness. Rage to what happened to Taiga that he fell and looked so miserable. Bitterness from how he could have treated him better. Make him feel like he could conquer the world in his hands. 

But he was too much of a pessimist and wimp to deserve that position. He was an outcast. Invisible. Unseen. The last number to be contacted.

Nevertheless, the way Taiga was in his hold. Face diving on Hokuto’s chest. Gripping on the sweatshirt he’s wearing for dear life. It seemed like Taiga was his. That Taiga was the one for him. Did they look like lovers? Or two broken hearts confused with emotions? Either way, he hugged him back. Tight like it was the last day on earth. 

“What happened?” He whispered, low and curious.

Taiga didn’t answer. Only gripped tighter. And Hokuto understood so he soothes him on his blond hair.

Was this wrong? Hokuto kept questioning himself.

They weren’t supposed to do this. This seems like Hokuto was Taiga’s first when he’s not. Seemed like Hokuto was his friend and lover and everything in between when Hokuto’s not that. Not even close. It was confusing and Hokuto was this close to cursing the world for being complicated. He couldn’t take anymore questioning in feelings and relationships and _this._ Whatever this is.

Hokuto gripped his arms and pulled him away. Taiga’s eyebrows raised, utterly confused.

“Hoku-”

“Taiga, I’m sorry, but-” Eyes filled with tears from frustration, he sighed weakly. “But I can’t be your second best any more,”

Taiga looked at him, clearly surprised. Paths of tears glistening from his cheeks and Hokuto hates the way he’s weak for it. “What are you talking about? I- I don’t even-”

“I’m so tired of being the last one you come back to,” Hokuto pleaded, didn’t care if his voice cracked or if he choked on his own tears. “I’m so, so, confused about whatever this is, I kept thinking that I’m not your favorite, that I don’t deserve being treated like I’m-”

_Your lover._

Taiga’s lips trembled and he grabbed Hokuto’s cheeks. His eyes also watery, confusion clear on his soft chocolate eyes. 

“But Hokuto,” He sniffed, caressing Hokuto’s cheeks with his thumb slowly. “You were never second.”

And he never was. It was a simple misunderstanding of feeling short and unseen when he’s not. Nobody was at fault because the line between them was always hazy and blurry. Like the clouds on one spring evening, blurry lines decorating orange and blue skies. It was a mess, but it was delicate and delightful. 

Tears wiped, feelings finally meeting each other, and Hokuto was no longer standing in confusion.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic ever here so it might seems really bad lol sorry


End file.
